My story
From a Life of Emotional Pain to a Beautiful Life of Freedom
Where do I start?
From the day I was born, my pain of rejection started. As a toddler, I was raised by my poor grandmother. At age 6, I learned to cook, clean, and look after myself. I traveled miles to fetch drinkable water and did hard labor to eat. From age 7 to 10, I was growing and sold vegetables to afford basic items like books, pencils, flip-flops, clothes, and even school fees.
It Didn't Just end there
Born with heart disease, which wasn’t medically diagnosed at the time, it was deemed as a “mysterious disease”. I spent nearly half of my childhood life in and out of hospitals. My fragility could be easily spotted from my pale, and tired appearance. I was even nicked- named “Half die” meaning walking death. As a result, I was bullied in school and rejected by my community. So, I grew up as a very lonely child, and that was painful!
The Obnoxious Alternative
With hospital admissions given no hope, my granny resorted to traditional treatment. According to the traditional doctors, my heart had been eaten by witches and wizards. To give me a new heart, I was forced to drink raw-diced hearts of animals, and an incision was done on my chest with a razor blade which subjected me to excruciating pain for nearly a year. And the bad news is that - NOTHING WORKED!
A humiliating Teenagerhood
As a teenager, seeking validation and affection, while struggling with zero self-esteem, negative voices, and limiting beliefs, I ended up with a teenage pregnancy, which was a taboo within my community. I was humiliated and felt so ashamed to walk my streets because of the stigma. And that too, was painful!
Love Turned into Hatred
As an adult, when I met my partner, I was excited that I finally found someone I could spend my life with. Everything was smooth from the start, as my spouse supported me, educated me, and I looked up to him as my mentor and put him on my pedestal. Just at a time when I thought I had achieved my dream of a loving home, pain stroke again. Communication, intimacy, attention, warmth, appreciation, empathy, reassurance, honesty, openness, common sense, respect, and care seemed to have been flung through the window. The layers of emotional protection were chipping away, and I watched with anguish, my loving home gradually turning into an unhappy home. The love we once shared turned into hatred. Once more, the painful feeling of rejection, loneliness, grief, lost identity, depression, and failure gripped and immobilized me. All attempts to resolve our marital challenges failed.
IT CAN BE PAINFUL!
After my relationship breakup, it left me disappointed, devastated, angry, and I felt rejected. The thought of starting life from scratch was frightening. Relocating to a new environment with 3 kids, no job, and money, I wasn’t only struggling to keep my mental sanity intact, but that of my kids too. I wrestled at night, trying to find comfort from any glimmer of hope, but most times, I lose the fight as my painful memories descended on me like a wolf on its prey. This torturing process went on for over three months, and the physical and psychological impacts were written all over me.
How was I going to RESCUE MYSELF?
The more I thought about it, the more I was hopeless. On this faithful day, I burst into tears as I yelled, “WHY AM I HERE? GOD, WHY WAS I BORN? WHY DIDN’T I DIE THROUGH ALL THOSE PAINS?” And I heard a resounding voice that said, “Well, those pains happened for a purpose, you needed to grow. You needed to develop skills and abilities that you’ll need to unlock your happiness. And if you could turn that Pain into Gain, you will become the most fulfilled woman on earth.” Unlocking my happiness was like a jigsaw puzzle for me to piece up.
How do I do it?
My Turning point
I braved it and went in search of help, if not for my sake, but for the sake of my kids. I read countless books and attended recovery training, but something was still missing. I was told, “Just forget it, take the lessons learned, and move on”. Yes, I know that, but how do I do it? Coming from a place of prolonged pain when my life has been wrecked, my mental health affected, my confidence gone, my self-esteem ripped off, my trust damaged, my physical strength sapped, my motivation deprived, my optimism gone, my aspirations silenced, and my emotions detached; HOW CAN I MOVE ON?
The Secret Road Map
The secret was in the HOW, which I found in 14 letters – I AM THRIVING NOW – Each letter represents a step, loaded with step-by-step strategies to unlock the treasure of our pain. These are the same steps that I took which brought me to where I am today, and has also transformed the lives of many of my clients to successfully move on from barely surviving to thriving.
Burning to know more about my Pain to Gain Journey? Grab a copy of my book from HERE
Does my story sound like yours and you would like us to talk
If deep within, you feel like something isn’t right, but you don’t know where to begin, we need to talk.